Here's What To Do When Your Ex-Significant Other Secretly Records You

Over the years, there have been a number of scandals involving people being secretly recorded saying incriminating or offensive things and those recordings finding their way to the media. It's unfortunate but true that people will use smartphones or other devices to capture what should be private conversations and then use those clips for less-than-virtuous reasons. If you discover your ex-lover or ex-spouse has recorded you in secret, here are a couple of things you can do.

Talk to Your Ex

The legal options you'll need to employ depends on what your ex-significant other plans to do with the recordings. Therefore, it's essential you talk to him or her to determine the purpose behind secretly recording you.

For instance, if you and your ex-spouse are in the midst of a divorce, it's likely he or she may want to use the tapes in court against you to obtain assets or gain custody of the kids. In this case, you would focus on preventing the tapes from being admitted into evidence. On the other hand, if your ex plans to hold onto them "just in case" (i.e. for some planned blackmail or to release to news stations) then you may need to employ a strategy to prevent that from happening.

During this time, you also want to ask for copies of the recordings so you can hear what was captured. This can help you determine if you need to take any action at all. If you said something embarrassing but otherwise wouldn't do any harm to you, then taking legal action may be unnecessary. However, if the recordings could damage your reputation or result in other losses of some kind, then you should take action to stop them from being shared.

Employ Legal Options

If your ex plans to use the recordings as evidence in a court case, there are a couple of ways you can prevent that from happening. One way is to argue the recording was obtained illegally. Most states have one-party consent laws where taped conversations can be used in court as long as one person knows about and consents to the recording. However, 11 states require all parties to be notified that they are being taped. If you live in one of these states and your ex didn't tell you he or she was recording you, the tape won't be admitted as evidence as long as you can prove you didn't give consent.

The other way to prevent the tapes from being used is to show the recordings don't adhere to the state's evidence requirements. Though specific rules will vary depending on where you live, the other party in the lawsuit must:

• Clearly show the voice on the tape is yours
• Accurately reflect the conversation you had with the person
• Show the recording wasn't altered
• Prove the device was capable of capturing the audio accurately

You can attack the validity of the recording using any of these points. For instance, if you can show the recording is missing or includes a lot of context surrounding what you said due to creative editing, you may be able to get the recordings ruled inadmissible.

If your ex has plans to share the recordings with the public, on the other hand, you will need to go to court and get an injunction. An injunction is a court order requiring the defendant to do (or not do) something under threat of monetary or criminal penalties.

To determine whether to grant your request for an injunction, the court will consider four factors:

• Whether you will suffer irreparable harm if the injunction is not granted
• Whether you or the defendant may be harmed more if the injunction is or is not granted
• How likely you are to successfully win a lawsuit against the defendant
• Whether granting the injunction will have an effect on the public interest

For instance, if you can show sharing the recordings will cause you to suffer a loss of business interests, the court may be willing to grant your request as long as your ex is unlikely to suffer greater harm or the information contained in the audio clips is of no interest to the general public.

In addition to preventing your ex from using secret recordings to harm you, you may also have a case for damages via privacy or defamation laws. It's best to consult a personal injury attorney, such as those at Clearfield & Kofsky, for assistance with litigating this issue.